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Items included in this column are things that I have heard, seen or have been reported to me. I cannot vouch for their veracity.

A Florida Phy-ed teacher resigned from his job recently one day before the School Board fired him. It seems he was allowing his middle school students to skip his class for $1 per day. A School Board spokesperson said that they estimated that he was clearing as much as $100 a day. It’s my guess that the ex-teacher will have more problems with the IRS than with the State Department of Education.

London, England. A bride to be called off her wedding six weeks prior to the nuptials when she found out that her intended was incapable of fathering a child. Having already invested $14,000 in primarily non-refundable expenses, she went to the internet in search of a suitable replacement. She was successful. Six weeks later she married the replacement groom. The betrothal took place on the same day, in the same church, using the flowers she had already ordered. The groom even used the previously ordered and paid for tuxedo. It was a 41 long and it fit.

MY, how things have changed!

I grew up in Bemidji. I recall many winter days when I walked home (uphill both ways, into the wind, through three foot snow drifts) after basketball practice. The coldest day I remember was minus 56 degrees. February 17, 2006 school was closed in Bemidji because the windchill (not the temperature) had dropped to minus 40.

Last fall, a soccer coach in one of the upwardly mobile Twin Cities suburbs pulled one of his players from the game when he found out that she was carrying a cell phone. Actually, it was more than carrying a cell phone. She was taking calls during the game, while she was supposed to be playing.

Some things don’t change

When Bobby (Bob) Knight was playing basketball at The Ohio State University, the Deamon Deacon, mascot for the Wake Forest athletic teams, got into line with Knight and some of his teammates. Knight punched the Deacon in the head.

Sometimes we don’t appreciate what we have.

When asked to sum up the difference between life in his native country and life in the U.S., a Korean American said, “In a democracy, if you’re the President, the army does what you tell it to. In other countries, if you do what the army tells you to, you’re the President.”

According to a 2005-06 Minnesota State-Mankato media guide, an MSU quarterback named Jamie Pass was a finalist for the 1993 NCAA Division II Player of the year Award (also known as the Harlon Hill Trophy). Another finalist, a running back from North Alabama, was Tyrone Rush. The third finalist, a running back from the University of New Haven, won the award. His name was Roger Graham. How disappointing.

The Timberwolves made a “Big” trade with the Boston Celtics recently. The principals in the trade were Wally Szczerbiak and Ricky Davis. Szczerbiak is a good jump shooter who was popular with the fans. Knocks on Wally included his defensive abilities and an apparent personality conflict with Kevin Garnett.

Davis scores about the same number of points as Wally. But, he does so in different ways. He’s very athletic (first time he dunked in a game was in eighth grade in Davenport, Iowa). But, so far, he has not shown a great desire or ability to excel on the defensive end of the court. He was traded from the Cavaliers because he had a conflict with Lebron James.

MORE

The University of Minnesota Duluth rercently postponed “Frigidfest” because of cold weather.

Cars and Cell Phones

I saw this! I was driving down highway 8 a few weeks ago (scary in itself) and I saw a young woman driving slowly. She was talking on the phone, smoking a cigarette and applying lipstick.

A 44 year old Kentucky woman rolled her pickup truck and put her kid in the hospital. The police believe that inattentive driving was the cause of the accident. They found her cell phone still clenched in her hand. In the accident, her arm, with hand still attached, was severed and found in close proximity to the truck.

Other stuff

I heard that a Minnesotan who had won a multi-million dollar lottery prize was hoping that a group would win the recent $365 million Powerball Jackpot. He said, “It would be better to make a lot of people happy, rather than make one person miserable.”

Please send interesting, entertaining and/or humorous items for inclusion in this column to

[email protected]

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