---

Items included in this column are things that I have heard, seen or have been reported to me. I cannot vouch for their veracity.

It’s Wednesday morning and the Gophers’ dreams of another NIT championship have been quashed. The Cincinnati Bearcats put the Gopher season to rest with a convincing 76-62 win in Ohio.

Rumors have been flying that Minnesota head coach Dan Monson will either resign or the University will buy out his contract. That could cost $1.4 million. A coaching vacancy exists at his alma mater, Idaho, and he is supposedly in line for the job.

He (Monson) just said on a local radio show that he is not going to resign and that U of M Athletic Director Joel Maturi has assured him and his team that that Monson will be the coach next season.

Should he leave, projections of a replacement go all the way from some young, unknown coach to well known, big name guys like Bobby Knight and Rick Majerus.

Back to the money. The University needs to weigh the distasteful prospect of a buyout (nobody likes the notion of paying someone to not work) versus the empty seats in the barn. Last week, in its NIT victory over Wake Forest, the Gophers attracted a few more than 2,600 paying customers. If the team could sell more tickets, the revenue could pay for the buyout.

I’ll just throw out some numbers. If they could sell 3000 more tickets at $30 for 20 home games, they’d bring in $1,800,000 per season. I have no idea if other sources of revenue (such as parking, concessions and sweatshirts) would benefit from increased attendance.

Let’s hope those in charge make a good decision.

Daunte Culpepper, who has gone from All-Pro diety to being compared to the franchise-destroying Terrell Owens by new Vikings’ coach Brad Childress, has maintained his innocence in the “Love Boat” incident. He says he was shooting dice with some friends when scantily clad young women approached and offered lap dances. According to the new Dolphin QB, he declined the offer.

Yemen (the country at the southwest tip of the Arabian Peninsula) is an Arab nation of about 20 million people and 60 million guns. As protests over the publication of unflattering cartoon depictions of The Prophet have started to die down in many countries, the flap is far from over in Yemen. Three journalists were jailed for publishing the cartoons. They are not concerned about their jail sentences. Rather, the three fear for their lives on the outside. Bodyguards have been hired and the journalists feel certain they’ll need them.

One of our Presidents (Harding, Coolidge, Hoover, ?) said, “America’s business is business.”

Americans have always been good at selling stuff. Some advertising slogans have been extremely financially rewarding.

Imagine the shampoo marketeer who came up with “Rinse and Repeat”.....No additional investment and a potential to double profits.

Some of you may remember the sign on Mr. B’s drive-in in North Branch. It said “Better Than Food.”

Behind the bar, in a little spot along U.S. 2 in Dilworth, Minnesota, was a sign that said. “Free Beer Tomorrow.”

Can you imagine how much profit there must be in bottled water. The world’s biggest selling water, Aquafina, comes from a well in central Italy. A double-blind test was recently done to find out if San Franciscans preferred the taste of tap water or the bottled brands. Tap water won.

“Evian” spelled backward is “Naive.”

Nevada’s Casinos had their biggest month, ever, in January 2006.

Bourbon County, Kentucky is dry. Christian County, Kentucky is not. The county Lynchburg, Tennessee is located in is also dry.

The father of a French tennis player was recently sentenced to eight years in prison for spiking the water bottles of his son’s opponents. He used a drug he thought would make them sluggish and slow moving. It did that to some, made some nauseous and killed one.

You’re one of a kind!

The likelihood of two people having the exact iris pattern (the colored portion of the eye) is one in 7 billion. Identical twins have completely different irises. Even your own left iris is different from your right one.

An elderly gentleman, dressed in a tailored three-piece suit complete with a flower in the lapel, walks past the doorman into the lobby of an upscale hotel in a large Midwestern city. After entering, he glances around ‘til he sees the bar. He walks in and surveys the crowd. He sees an attractive elderly woman seated at the bar. He moves in, sits next to her and says, “So, do I come here often?”

You are invited to send interesting, unusual and/or humorous items that could possibly be used in this space. If you choose to do so, please send it to [email protected].

If you prefer, you may send it to

Chisago County Press

Attn: Dave

12631 Lake Blvd.

Lindstrom, Mn 55045

or, you may bring it in to the office.

Sports stuff would be great, but, please do not limit yourselves. Politics, religion, culture (pop or otherwise) are welcomed. Please do not feel offended if your contribution is not included.

---