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Items included in this column are things that I have heard, seen or have been reported to me. I cannot vouch for their veracity.

The older I get, the less I enjoy winter. Oops! Already a revision. The older I get, the less I enjoy cold weather and heavy snow. Every once in a while, I start feeling envious of those who have the option to escape the dark, dismal cold that awaits us the next few months. I was thinking, "Why in the world, do we live here?"

Earlier this month, when my ever-aching lower back was reminding me of what an idiot I am for shoveling snow, especially that heavy, grainy, sand-like stuff that fell on us in the season's first "storm of the century," my dislike of snow and cold were reaffirmed. (I can hardly wait 'til our editor reads that sentence.) Stay with me, I'll eventually get back to answer my question.

Since my mind is wandering, as usual, I might as well explore the reasons that I'm foolish enough to shovel, knowing that I'll pay for it later. I do have a snowblower. But, for a variety of reasons it sits unused, including the ease and quietude of grabbing a shovel instead of starting the snowblower, an old-fashioned belief that a little physical exercise would do us all some good, and a new-fashioned sense of environmental awareness that the fewer fossil fuels I burn, the better.

With all those altruisms in mind, for my back's sake, I should use the snowblower more often. However, my blower is currently not working properly. It starts easily and, after belching out a few puffs of blue greenhouse gasses, runs very well. The auger works and it's powerful enough to chew through the heaviest snow - even that quick-setting, white concrete the plow fills the ends of our driveways with moments after we've finished our shoveling.

But, there's a problem. Only one of the drive wheels is driven. So, if I go where it wants to go, it clears circles on the pavement kind of like winter's version of crop circles. (The last thing I need is an investigative reporter from some late night talk show or supermarket tabloid showing up at my house...wanting to find out what extraterrestrial force was responsible.) What makes me most angry is that this directional problem showed up way last spring. I had all spring, summer, and fall to get it fixed.

Nonetheless, it isn't snow that I dislike most about winter. Its aftermath is what initiates my fantasies of warmth. In my mind, snow is almost always followed by cold. The barometer rises faster than the price of oil, the weather vane switches to the northwest and the mercury begins to plummet. (Or, if any young folks read this, the arrow on your indoor-outdoor weather station points steeply downward and the frown on the little guy's face turns to a big smile - high pressure and clear skies are on the way.)

The cold arrives with its constant companion - the wind. The two combine for what we now call "wind chill," the kind of breath-taking, flesh-freezing, shoulder-hunching, ice-making cold that triggers my fantasies.

So, why do we live here?

Be patient! We're gettin' there.

A couple of weeks back, we celebrated my wife's birthday. Maybe "celebrated" isn't the right term. We acknowledged her birthday. (Love, respect and, of course, fear prevent me from divulging which birthday we acknowledged.) On her birthday, we went to a basketball game. Not her favorite thing, but she goes with me on occasion.

But, the next day, a Saturday, we came to Lindstrom. I went to another athletic event and did some work at the Press. Meanwhile, she went to a few of the local antique stores (She enjoys antiquing. I do too, but I'd prefer that not many people find out about that.) After that, we visited an antique store in Shafer.

From Shafer, we drove to Taylors Falls and found that the number of antique stores in the border town has shrunk from five to none. Then we went to St. Croix Falls because someone who shall remain nameless (Matt Silver) told me that there was still an antique place somewhere in the downtown area.

We explored unsuccessfully and, as we were leaving the urban center, my wife spotted a store she wanted to go into. While she was there, I got out and looked around, thinking I might find Matt's Mythical Mall of Antiques. I didn't, but I saw the Chamber of Commerce building.

So, I took a shot. I was surprised that the door was open so late on a Saturday afternoon. But, it was. I opened the door and went in. I didn't see anyone, but I could hear voices in the back of the building. I moved through the small rooms toward the voices.

In the back room, I found the people attached to the voices. A half dozen seniors were enthusiastically engaged in conversation. I waited a moment, not long enough to capture the topic at hand, but long enough to not be considered impatient or rude, before interrupting. I asked if they knew if there was an antique store in town.

They exchanged puzzled glances. One said, "There used to be those two places up on the hill, but they're out of business." Another, a pleasant woman in her mid-to-latter 70's, got up and approached. After some extraneous comments, she said (paraphrasing), "No, we don't think there are any antique stores left in town. But, would you like some wine and cheese?"

She said, "Would you like some wine and cheese?" Unbelievable. This clown, wearing blue jeans and a baseball cap comes in and interrupts a bunch of friends and she says, "Would you like some wine and cheese?"

That's it. That's why we live here! It's not the three months of what passes for summer. It's not the change of seasons. It's not the crisp, cold air that, "Keeps the riff raff out." It's the people. In this day and age, when many people don't even know their neighbors and are scared to go out at night, I get invited for wine and cheese.

Thank you, citzens of St. Croix Falls and Happy New Year.

You are invited to send interesting, unusual and/or humorous items that could possibly be used in this space. If you choose to do so, please send it to [email protected].

If you prefer, you may send it to

Chisago County Press

Attn: Dave

12631 Lake Blvd.

Lindstrom, Mn 55045

or, you may bring it in to the office.

Sports stuff would be great, but, please do not limit yourselves. Politics, religion, culture (pop or otherwise) are welcomed. Please do not feel offended if your contribution is not included.

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