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Items included in this column are things that I have heard, seen or have been reported to me. I cannot vouch for their veracity.

I have a bad back. When I sit in a chair, or purchase furniture or a car, my main concern is...how long will I be able to sit without increasing my pain level. Other people have furniture related issues, too.

Furniture - Friend or Foe

A young woman from Ohio went missing. After 11 days, she was found dead behind a bookcase in her apartment. Apparently, she had tried to reach a cord plugged into an electrical outlet behind the bookcase when she became wedged between case and wall.

A San Francisco Bay area man and his wife got into a fight. The wife shot him with a 357 magnum as he sat in his Lazy Boy recliner. She told police that she did not try to shoot him. " I was 'fiddling' with the gun while I was under the influence of alcohol and painkillers." She had no explanation for the second shot, from point blank range.

She missed. He was not seriously injured as the chair absorbed most of the blow. He ran outside, found a phone and called the cops. Rumor has it that Lazy Boy considered signing him to a contract to tell his story as a part of an ad.

In 2006, the men's winner of the first annual "Discarded Cell Phone Toss" in Finland threw his phone 292 feet. The winner of the women's competition tossed her phone 267 feet, establishing a "World Record."

As a kid, I was a big Johnny Unitas fan When he died in 2002, he was only 69 years old. He loved to golf, but suffered such extensive injuries while in the NFL that he could barely grip a club with his right hand. In his post- NFL life, he became essentially left-handed.

Football has really changed since Johnny U's days in the NFL. Like most of the quarterbacks of his time, he called his own plays. His coach, Weeb Eubank used to send in advice like "Get a first down" or "Go for the touchdown."

That's not the only change. When Unitas started in 1956, very few blacks played in the NFL. When Colts running back Lenny Moore went to teammate Alan Ameche's restaurant, Ameche said, "I'm sorry, but I can't serve you." Moore responded, "Don't feel bad, I understand."

Shock and Awe

We have a guest dog at our place right now. He's cute but requires a lot of attention. I took him for a bike ride this morning. He ran alongside the bike while I pedaled fairly slowly as his little legs did the best to keep up. He did.

Like many of his type, he doesn't want to miss anything. We have him incarcerated in the porch. He's very tired, but wants to be where the action is. He is currently leaning, snout first, against the glass - with his eyes closed.

March 19, 2003 American bombs rained down on Baghdad. Four Thousand miles away, in South Africa, a man named Lawrence Anthony started thinking about the 13,000 zoo animals that perished in the bombing of Berlin and Dresden during WWII.

CBS reported that, a few days later, Anthony phoned CENTCOM. With no other authority than his desire to save animals, he said, "Hello. I'm the guy who's gonna take over the zoo in Baghdad." They connected him with someone in Kuwait. "Hello. CENTCOM said I should talk to you." A week later, he arrived at the gates of the Baghdad Zoo.

"It was an absolute mess," Anthony said. "Only 30 of the 650 animals and birds were left. Many of them had been killed and eaten by hungry residents. Only animals that were big enough, scary enough or that had big enough teeth that looters left them alone, remained."

Only a few employees remained. For the first few weeks, Lawrence paid the workers and bought supplies out of his own pocket.

"Absolutely outstanding young men," is how Lawrence described the GI's who soon arrived at the zoo. They volunteered their services. In their spare time, they put down their rifles and cleaned cages and rescued animals, including dogs, pelicans, camels and lions from Ude Hussein's palace.

Captain William Sumner asked a superior if there was anything he could do to help out. He had been assigned to the Iraqi National Museum which had also been looted.

Sumner, Anthony and their team became the "go to" guys for every stray animal in Baghdad. Four months after they took over, the zoo re-opened, staffed completely by Iraqis.

Buick recently introduced its new model. The Riviera (a name they haven't used since 1999) is built on the Epsilon Platform (Chevy Malibu, Pontiac G6 and Saturn Aura). It was introduced at the Shanghai (China) Auto Show. Not too surprising, since Buick sells more cars in China than it does in the U.S.

James (age 4) was listening to a bible story. His dad read, " the man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and turned to salt." Concerned, James asked, "What happened to the Flea?"

You are invited to send interesting, unusual and/or humorous items that could possibly be used in this space. If you choose to do so, please send it to [email protected].

If you prefer, you may send it to

Chisago County Press

Attn: Dave

12631 Lake Blvd.

Lindstrom, Mn 55045

or, you may bring it in to the office.

Sports stuff would be great, but, please do not limit yourselves. Politics, religion, culture (pop or otherwise) are welcomed. Please do not feel offended if your contribution is not included.

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