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Items included in this column are things that I have heard, seen or have been reported to me. I cannot vouch for their veracity.

Omission?

I received a complaint last night. One of those guys who married our daughters noticed that neither one of them (sons-in-law/grandsons-in-law) got a mention in my column. A girlfriend and two dogs were mentioned, but they weren't. My response was, "Get used to it! I'm sorry, but that's just the way it is."

I can understand the objection to ranking below a grandson's girlfriend. But, come on, I've been a son-in-law long enough to know that we can never expect to compete with pets.

Up North

Minnesotans share the concept of "Up North." To some, Up North is somewhere over by Annandale or St. Cloud or Forest Lake. To these people, apparently any place outside of the Metropolitan Mosquito Control District qualifies.

To others, places like Mille Lacs, the Brainerd Lakes area and Alexandria fit their definition. These places are a little too accessible for me. When we travel north, we make a special point of avoiding high traffic times in the Mille Lacs and Brainerd areas. Even in mid-afternoon, city people are congregated on major thoroughfares and in shopping centers.

The roads are full of big, four-wheel-drive pickups and SUV's pulling expensive bass boats or walleye units while in a hurry to get to a lake. Motorhomes don't seem to be as prevalent as they were a few years ago, but they're still out there. These big buggies are searching for a place to get away from the city by "camping" 10 feet away from similar units in campgrounds with wireless access and cable TV. Big sedans with AARP stickers are frequently seen, too. If they're in town, the passengers are probably between Casinos.

Other than location, the people in the vehicles have little in common with one another. The one thing they all share is their dismay at the cost of gas. ???

Tourist density does start to thin a bit if you get about 25 miles north of Brainerd. But, places like Walker, with shops full of "native crafts" made in China and overpriced sweatshirts, are still crowded. We recently went through there on a calm, beautiful, 85º Tuesday afternoon when everyone should have been in a lake. Instead, the sidewalks, crosswalks and everywhere in between were littered with tourists in expensive sunglasses and cargo shorts, talking on cell phones, carrying shopping bags full of bargains.

The next level of "up northness" includes places like the Hibbing-Virginia-Vermillion area and the lakes around Bemidji. They're not as crowded, a guy can catch a fish from relatively clean water and find something to do in a town if it gets too rainy, windy and cold.

The last level in Minnesota is near Canada. This is for the real outdoors types. One of those guys who married our daughters was just up there with some of his family. They caught some fish, but were disappointed that they didn't get more walleyes, 'though a cousin caught a 9+ pounder. And, the blueberries were abundant. They came home a day early, even though the bugs weren't "that bad." July 10, the highs in the BWCA were in the 50's with wind chills in the 30's. The joys of camping!

No matter which "up north" level is yours, be careful on your way there and, if you lose track of the speed limit, be thankful you didn't get pulled over in the State of Virginia. The maximum fine for 20 or more miles over the limit was recently increased to $3500. The old max was a modest $2500.

At the Lake

Over the Fourth, most of the 14 in attendance were willing to share their "Worst" and "Best" things about being "At the Lake." Perhaps the most interesting part of their responses was how the nature of the response corresponded to the age of respondent.

"More Mature" family members tended to comment on big ideas like the natural beauty and overall peacefulness. Younger contributors seemed more likely to focus on more personal issues. Both groups, however, were likely to comment on their enjoyment of the food, which was abundant and, for some reason, even better than when prepared at home.

Our most mature family member is impressed with the beauty of the moon rising over the lake and the usually calm water in the mornings. Another member of the plus 25 crowd said, "The sound of waves lapping at the shore and loons calling on an otherwise quiet night."

The senior male in attendance listed, "Quiet during the week with no traffic or noise." (Most of the cabins on that lake are owned by week-enders who live beyond commuting distance, but close enough to be there most weekends. And, there are no resorts. So, weekdays are very quiet.) My wife, who made her "once-every-decade" waterskiing appearance, said the, "Moon on the lake, canoeing and walks to the dam," were among her favorites."

Younger cabin dwellers said things like 'skiing and watching old women (50+) slalom ski', 'spraying unexpected onlookers with waterski spray' and 'catching the biggest fish, ever' at the top of their lists.

The youngest among us, a teenaged girl from the White Bear Lake area said, "Getting picked on all the time---Jerks," was the worst thing about being held captive in the wilderness." She has a point. She does get picked on. But, she has a little bit of that "Paris Hilton" attitude goin' on. So, she is an easy target. Also, she's the youngest. The youngest has always been picked on. So, I expect that will continue until a great grandchild comes along and gets old enough to be the next target.

"Pointless Projects" also garnered some votes in the worst category. Most objections seem to center on the "done by committee" nature of these projects. Too many expert bosses and not enough workers!

One last thing! My wife's sister said her, "Obnoxious bro-in-law," caused her the most distress. I wonder who she could be talking about?

You are invited to send interesting, unusual and/or humorous items that could possibly be used in this space. If you choose to do so, please send it to [email protected].

If you prefer, you may send it to

Chisago County Press

Attn: Dave

12631 Lake Blvd.

Lindstrom, Mn 55045

or, you may bring it in to the office.

Sports stuff would be great, but, please do not limit yourselves. Politics, religion, culture (pop or otherwise) are welcomed. Please do not feel offended if your contribution is not included.

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