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If Karma is universally described as "the total effect of a person's actions and conduct during the person's existence, regarded as determining the person's destiny," well, I seriously doubt that I deserved to shoot two large deer within a matter of four seconds late last Sunday afternoon.

Why would I suggest such a thing? I'll tell you why. After missing a large buck on opening morning, I was one mopey, surly, rotten, good for nothing so-and-so to spend time with that following week. And I was dead dog tired to boot. I woke up four of the five weekdays during the season a full two hours before sun-up. I'd quietly make coffee, gather my things, then drive in the dark to my 60-acre patch of woods near Scandia, only to watch the sun rise through the trees and illuminate an empty forest each morning.

Aside from that buck I botched on the opener, I saw exactly one other deer during the season - that is, until my close, personal friend, Lady Luck, paid a visit while hunting my in-laws' property last Sunday.

I suppose if I were a really religious person I could argue that some Higher Power looked down upon me and decided that he or she had had enough of my brooding, cranky ways and neatly arranged the events that occurred last weekend. However, I seriously doubt that any Higher Power worth his or her salt actually directs deer traffic, do you? Don't you think he or she would have far more important world considerations to be concerned about than my need to bag a deer?

My wife told me last week that if I didn't shoot a deer this year, we'd go halfsies on an organic cow with some friends. I hate to admit it, but some deliriously happy thoughts filled my head near the end of the season of marbled beefsteaks sizzling on the grill. Oh sure, venison is good - and plenty good for you - but venison isn't beef now, is it? If those two deer hadn't ambled by last Sunday our freezer might be filled today with T-bones, short ribs, rump roasts, tenderloins, porterhouses and sirloins. Omigosh! Did my secret desire for Black Angus beef work against me? Was the appearance of those two deer a sort of perverse, double-crossing Karma punishment instead of a reward?

I need to end this article now. I'm quickly developing one whopper of a headache. All I'll admit to saying from here on out about this entire matter is this: whatever mystical powers - or lack thereof - at work last Sunday were truly appreciated. Anything beyond that and I'll dummy-up quicker than Ollie North and plead the fifth. After all, I do have a reputation as a hardened outdoorsman to uphold.

By the way, does anybody know of a good steakhouse in the area? It'll take at least a month before Deutschland Meats can process those deer. In the meantime, I could use a good cut of meat - medium rare, nice and pink in the middle - if you please.

Dan Brown's weekly outdoor column is brought to you by Frankie's Bait and Marine, in Chisago City, and St. Croix Outdoors, in St. Croix Falls, Wis.

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