April 24, 2008 at 9:13 a.m.
With the ice leaving our lakes and rivers, it is that time of year again when talk around the water cooler turns to fishing, particularly for ice-out crappies and walleyes. Just the other day I nonchalantly asked a nice gal I know where she's planning to do her spring crappie fishing. She's a very good crappie angler and always does well during the month of April. I had already heard from her blabby friend and fishing partner last week where they intended to fish, so I knew the answer before I asked the question. Guess what? That seemingly honest gal looked me dead in the eyes and flat-out lied to me. Wow, talk about an Oscar-worthy performance. She'd have no trouble beating a lie-detector test. Her husband better stay on her good side, that's all I'm going to say about that. "Who, Bill? He left for the office just like he does every morning. That's right, officer. Why, is he missing?"
This morning I received an email from a guy I know who tried (very slyly, I might add) to "rattle the backdoor" for useful information. Usually, the backdoor question is cleverly hidden somewhere between the salutation, "Hi good buddy," and the heartfelt closing, "Your best fishin' pal of all time."
Along with the covert backdoor question, in which the questioner attempts to "pickpocket" information from some gullible dope, there is also the overt "frontal assault" technique. These are two very distinct methods of operation, but are equally effective if performed properly. The frontal assault method is intended to momentarily stun the fellow angler - usually in a public setting, like a bait shop - causing him to lose focus and the ability to lie. The presence of other anglers in the room sort of forces pride to creep into the equation and the guy being asked the questions usually tells the truth. I've seen it happen and it ain't pretty. Once the truth is out, it is immediately recognized as being the truth. Anglers have well-honed senses and can smell a truth a mile away.
When it comes to either withholding information (lying by omission) or simply sending a fellow angler to Timbuktu to get skunked on a crummy lake, I can be a most persuasive liar. Hey, it's tough out there. You need to use your best "poker face" and keep your cards close to your vest. When somebody has you under a hot bulb and sweating you for information, swallow your pride and keep good spots to yourself. After all, it took some hard work on your part to wheedle the spots you do have from honest schmucks in the first place. If you tip your hand and allow others to get a good look at your cards, believe me, you can kiss those secret hot-spots goodbye.
Where am I heading for crappies this week? Let me think about that for a moment before I answer.
Dan Brown's weekly outdoor column is brought to you by Frankie's Bait and Marine, in Chisago City, and St. Croix Outdoors, in St. Croix Falls, Wis.
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