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As I get older I find it easier, and oftentimes quite convenient, to dabble in the nebulous and ill-defined areas of the truth where hunting and fishing is concerned.

You probably think that's just a fancy way of saying I'm a liar. I'm not a liar. Well, not in the strictest sense of the word. It's not like I regularly drag the truth into a dark alley by the scruff of the neck and rough it up every chance I get. To my way of thinking, lying involves patently false statements and an intention to deceive. Hey, after I'm through talking, it's certainly not my fault if folks hear part of a story and form their own false impressions.

The other day I reported to a friend about a trip my brother and I made last Saturday to the Mille Lacs Wildlife Management Area in search of grouse. I recall saying something like, "Well, I had my portable GPS clipped to my vest and discovered that Jim and I walked nearly six miles. Six miles! Man, my legs are still sore today. Oh, by the way, we did manage to put three birds up, which was good." You see how that works? It's not open-ended and it doesn't prompt the other guy to pry too much regarding details. The fact that my brother and I didn't put a single one of the three aforementioned birds down and in the proverbial game bag is neither here nor there.

Another slippery tactic is to take a vague statement of half-fact like the one I just mentioned and immediately follow it up with a diversionary question of your own: "So, you been seeing birds where you're at? Yeah, I've heard mixed reports myself. I heard the Arrowhead and North Central brood survey numbers are down. Must've been a tough spring on the chicks, eh?" Honest to God, confound other hunters with juicy lines like that and they'll dummy up faster than Mortimer Snerd. Nobody will question your savant-like knowledge. Hell, take it a bit further and mention things like frequent spring rain events during the brood rearing season and chicks having a tough time thermo-regulating. Thermo-whaa? Yes sir, sprinkle some legitimate biological hocus-pocus in there for good measure and you could net yourself a cold beer or two from admiring fans in any tavern.

Like I mentioned, sometimes it just makes good sense to withhold details from fellow anglers and hunters. If for no other reason, it might keep your secret fishing and hunting spots secret a while longer. The trick is to govern your mouth and stop yourself a hair shy of whipping out a map and stabbing your finger on those places where you've recently enjoyed success.

Remember that facts and details are highly malleable and oftentimes subjective at best. Tell a guy you shot a buck and move on...the quicker the better. The fact that your particular buck's antlers were mere nubbins and hadn't yet sprouted is trivial. Or, feel free and tell folks you recently caught some dandy walleyes, but be prepared to suddenly feign a groin pull and excuse yourself from the conversation. You're done. That's enough information. You know a "dandy" walleye - from an eating standpoint - measures about 14 - 18 inches. The fact that whoever's listening thinks a "dandy" walleye measures around 26-inches is no concern of yours. You see what I mean. Facts are, at best, highly subjective, aren't they?

Who knows, maybe I missed my calling as a politician. After years of practice, I've developed a pretty good poker face. I'm sure I could look into a camera lens and solemnly promise lower taxes and affordable health care to my fellow Americans as well as the next candidate. The difference between what comes out of the mouths of guys like McCain and Obama and me is that nobody can run to Factcheck.org to authenticate my hunting and fishing stories. On second thought, maybe I'll re-think a burgeoning political career.

Dan Brown's weekly outdoor column is brought to you by Frankie's Bait and Marine, in Chisago City, and St. Croix Outdoors, in St. Croix Falls, Wis.

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