---

The state fair is a thing of beauty. A marvelous platter of fat-filled donuts, grease-covered pork chops, deep fried alligator, and yes, this year they added chocholate-covered bacon, greet your nostrils and taste buds each year as you pass through that blue gate to the tune of $11.

This year was the first for me being that golden age of 21. My birthday always landed at the tail end of summer, so my grand present was always a trip back to the ol' brick and mortar priso... er, I mean school. So, while I spent most of my time at the state fair this year planting some barley in my belly in the beer garden, I missed out on most of the other happenings at the fair, and that got me to thinking why the Great Minnesota Get-together has built itself such a rabid following and rich tradition.

And I came up with this as the best reason to walk the fair: The fair assembles the biggest conglomeration of unique people ever seen in Minnesota. They come from every corner of the state, every nook and every cranny in Minnesota sends a representative to the fair, and it's an often hilarious result.

In the span of five minutes at the fair this year, I saw a long-haired, heavily-tatooed, all black-wearing gothic fellow trying his best to figure out how to speed past that senior citizen couple stopping to observe every single booth at the fair. Seriously, they stop for 30 seconds at all 789 booths to see if there is anything interesting to buy for $8 or less. And it just frustrates the black-haired fellow.

In that same five minutes, I saw the fanny-pack wielding middle-aged couple who has everything in that pack. Need a mirror and comb? Check. How about a wad of cash and bottle of water? Check. I really mean everything too.

Somehow, if it started raining, the fanny-pack wielding man (it's always the husband that has to sport the fanny pack, don't ask me why) could unfold an umbrella out of that little thing and shield a family of four with it.

Two minutes later, those inconsiderate kids come charging through the nicely moving traffic flow, plowing into anybody and everybody on their way to ask mom and dad for 10 more bucks to knock the milk jugs over. They were so close already, they only need 10 more dollars and they'll win the gigantic stuffed dog.

That's another guy that is a chore to run into. That guy with the three velcro monkeys tied around his belt, lugging a giant neon green frog on his back while dribbling three different basketballs he won. You have to give him a 10-foot halo so he can manage all his victory trinkets. This guy may look like a skilled gamer, but you and I both know he just blew last week's paycheck winning a blue-and-gold UCLA basketball and a giant amphibian that is only going to collect dust in the corner of his room.

How about that group of teenagers who think they are the state fair marching band? They find the middle of the road and get in a straight line across Dan Patch and proceed to walk down it. They don't flinch when they are walking straight at other people, they just continue strolling like they are the only nine people at the state fair and the whole path belongs to them. Don't get in their way either. The last thing you want is a group of angry adolescents. They'll follow you around the rest of the day ruining your fair.

The more I write about the blend of people at the fair the more I find myself thinking one thing. Maybe the beer garden is the best place to be. Sure, you get the people who try to karaoke like they're the next Idol, but they fall flatter than a warm beer. They belt out lines to songs without knowing the last three words to that line, and you know what? Everyone digs it in there still. Stumble in a song in the beer garden? The crowd will pick you up with their own rendition.

The beer garden seems to bring out the most down-to-Earth folks at the fair too. Well, except for a pair of ladies that we met this weekend, but that's a story best told in old age to your best friends over a cup of coffee.

So with the fair closed, it's another year away, and another year to anticipate the tastes, sounds and excitement.

And another year to anticipate the people.

You are invited to send interesting, unusual and/or humorous items that could possibly be used in this space. If you choose to do so, please send it to [email protected].

If you prefer, you may send it to

Chisago County Press

Attn: Jeff

12631 Lake Blvd.

Lindstrom, Mn 55045

or, you may bring it in to the office.

Sports stuff would be great, but, please do not limit yourselves. Politics, religion, culture (pop or otherwise) are welcomed. Please do not feel offended if your contribution is not included.

---