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We're living in some tough economic times. The other day I heard on the radio that things haven't looked this bleak since the 1930s. With that fact in mind, I'd like to mention that if you're in the market for cheap-but-reliable transportation, I have just the van you're looking for.

Here's another thought worthy of your careful consideration: if you're the parent of a son or daughter who is now (or soon to be) of driving age, this van could very well be exactly what you're looking for and I'll tell you why. You can rest easy at home knowing your son won't stand a snowball's chance of winning the adoration of a young gal while driving - or even leaning against - this van. Oh, and the Obama/Biden and public radio stickers adorning the backhatch are included at no extra charge. Think of them as added insurance and peace of mind.

Believe me, it's not remotely possible to look cool while driving a "grocery-getter." If your boy thinks a custom paint job might help, do him a big favor and tell him to hold that thought. It will only make him look even more foolish. Chrome spokes? Nope. Lowered suspension? Please. Curb-feelers? Uh-uh. There is no way to "pimp" this ride and achieve "elegant playa" status - but that's the whole idea. Listen, you can't be with your teenage son every minute of every day and you hope he's making the right decisions when you're not around. Well, think of this van as a big forest green testosterone negator - a guardian, so to speak. Don't worry, Junior won't get into a lick of trouble driving this rig.

Hey, it's your money and you call the shots. I can hear the conversation now:

"But Dad, I need a red Mustang!" Billy pleads.

"Your mom and I lost all our bread in the stock market last year. You'll drive a van and like it! By the way there's been a change of plans. Princeton's out. You're going to Globe College of Business next fall."

"No fair!" Billy whines.

"Hey, life ain't fair. Get used to it, kid."

I won't even mention teenage girls. If you have a daughter in high school in need of a vehicle, she'd probably just as soon forsake driving altogether before being seen driving this van.

There are a few areas of rust on this van, but it's not like children and luggage are going to fall through gaping holes in the floorboards like the Flintstone-mobile. The rust is localized, located primarily along the rocker panels in front of the rear wheel wells. I might be partial, but all in all, this van looks pretty darn good for the price we're asking for it. Of course, I'm a soon-to-be 45-year-old who lucked out years ago when I married my wife, Su. I don't have to look cool anymore and thank God for that. I remember being young and thinking that trying to look cool was a lot of work.

You should also know that our dog chewed on the passenger-side armrest a couple of years ago. The dog is dead now, but not as a direct result of chewing on the armrest. (You can stop dialing the SPCA and put the phone down.) It was professionally repaired in just a bit under 11 seconds with duct tape. I spun the roll of tape around that armrest faster than a cowboy in a calf ropin' contest, then finished 'er off with a couple of clean half hitches..."DONE!" I suppose the armrest could be looked at as another plus if you're considering buying this vehicle for a young male driver. After all, nothing exudes tackiness and repels the girls quite like a vehicle held together by duct tape.

There's one more thing you should probably know before you reach for your wallet. My wife backed the van into our recycle bin at the end of the driveway - not once, but twice - in a two-week span last year. Considering the fact that recycling is picked up every other week, you could say Su went two-for-two. Very impressive. Anyway, she insisted on spending about six hours super gluing the driver-side taillight cover back together. Do me a favor. If you wind up with this van, drive it around town for a while with the taillight the way it is. Su would appreciate it. How she managed to reassemble all 600 pieces and accidentally create an image of St. Augustine is something just short of miraculous. I do believe she missed her calling in not becoming a Byzantine mosaic artist.

By the way, Republicans are more than welcome to inquire about this van. Feel free to peel off the Obama sticker and replace it with an old "Dubya" sticker if you wish. That's cool. We can all get along.

Give me a shout and we can arrange for a test-drive. Don't bring your kid along though. Drive it home and surprise him. Years from now he might appreciate your wisdom and thank you for it.

Dan Brown's weekly outdoor column is brought to you by Frankie's Bait and Marine, in Chisago City, and St. Croix Outdoors, in St. Croix Falls, Wis.

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