December 3, 2009 at 8:47 a.m.
Say it ain't so, Tiger
Say it ain't so, Tiger
We never seem to learn our lesson when it comes to the public figures we look up to as role models. I'm just as guilty as many of you out there for believing Tiger Woods' carefully crafted and cultivated public facade was no different from his private persona.
Maybe the sport of golf itself lulled us. After all, when we think of golf, it brings to mind a sport that requires its top players to be tempered, self-disciplined individuals.
I know it's always a bit hazardous to deal in speculation, particularly if the alleged wrongdoing turns out to be false in the end. I will concede that there is a chance, albeit a slim one, that Tiger really did need to run down to the 7-Eleven for diapers at 2:25 in the morning...but I doubt it. I'm pretty sure a guy that's worth close to a billion dollars (yes, that's b as in billion) has somebody on his staff who does little more than purchase diapers. I'd further venture to guess that the diaper guy makes more dough per year than I do.
Judging by Tiger's resolute unwillingness to disclose anything to the media or to his fans about the events surrounding that ill-fated early morning fender-bender, we might forever be left to our own imaginations as we connect the dots and continue to speculate.
I almost feel apologetic writing about Tiger Woods this week. I didn't write about it to preach morals or make myself feel better by airing someone else's bad behavior. Excuse me - alleged bad behavior. No, I chose the Tiger story this week because, well, it's more fun to write about a rumored scandal than it is to write about crappies.
Believe me, deep down, I'm a pretty simple guy. You have to admit, if what we're left to speculate is true, it's deliciously fitting that Mrs. Woods would attempt to pummel the alleged scoundrel with a five iron. Fore!
In many respects, the ongoing Tiger tragedy reminds me of the 1919 Black Sox scandal, in which eight players on the Chicago White Sox baseball team, including its star player, "Shoeless Joe" Jackson, were accused of throwing the World Series to the Cincinnati Reds. As Jackson left a Chicago criminal court building in custody of law enforcement a young boy grabbed the outfielder's sleeve and said, "Say it ain't so, Joe!" Jackson hung his head and replied, "Yes, kid, I'm afraid it is."
Well, Tiger certainly hasn't given any indication that he'll provide us with answers anytime soon, no matter how hard we plead and tug on his sleeve. At least Jackson offered us a heart-felt admission of guilt and some measure of closure. People are pretty forgiving if they're presented with an explanation. What we seem to have trouble with is silence.
It is a sad reflection on our culture that this story continues to mercilessly inundate us from all angles. Last night I was struck by the fact that MSN.COM's two leading stories of the day were the Tiger debacle, and some woman from Massachusetts who saw the likeness of Jesus staring back at her from the bottom of her clothes iron. I'm no expert on the matter, but I'm pretty sure that if Jesus decides to pay us a visit, it won't be in the form of brownish residue left behind because some dummy tried to iron a rayon blouse using the "linen" setting.
We're sending more and more young people to Afghanistan, in the throes of our still-teetering economy no less, and what do we occupy ourselves with? Tiger Woods' marital discord and some silly woman from Massachusetts who sees things. Oh, the humanity indeed.
If you have comments for Dan or story ideas contact him at e-mail [email protected].
Comments:
Commenting has been disabled for this item.